Friday, July 2, 2010

I just dont know what to feel.

Why is it that I get attached to people that I have never met?  I have just been heartbroken over this mom that I have never met losing her son.  I guess I feel a connection to these mom's that have chronic kids.  I get teary-eyed every time that I mention/think about Conner and what his mom had to go thru while holding his hand while he took his last breath.  How did she do it?  What would I have done?  That could have been me!  I could and have a chance to still have to deal with that some day.  How will it feel?  Will I feel?  Would I go crazy?  Would I lose my mind?  I just cant imagine and dont want to.  Parents are ment to bury their kids!  I know it happens but geeze, why do things happen to good people?

I am worried about our friends (some Internet some not)

Max did get some good news today.  They are moving up his transplant date to next week!  Pray all day on July 8th.  His mom will have the privilege to give life to him again.  But......it is more risky for Max than it was Brayden.  Max has small lungs as a result of him not having much fluid when he was in utero.  The major fluid they have to give him to keep the kidney healthy will make it harder for Max to breath!  I know he will have struggles but he will come out a whole new boy!  A healthy, peeing, eating, not puking big boy!!

Summer has had a hard day today.  She spiked a fever, is breathing really really fast and looks sicker.  She did get Max's old transplant date so if she is medically stable he will get her Daddy's kidney but I feel for her parents.  Laura and Dan are doing a wonderful job....I would have snapped by now, Laura did have a come apart on the docs but for good reason.  Laura, if you read this....I love you and you are amazing! 

Aiden seems to be getting better but they dont know what his deal was! 

I am a God believing God fearing person.  No I dont lead the life that I probably should but I do think that God does things for a reason.  I have accepted that I cant control anything but I sometimes find myself questioning his "motives".  God, please dont take these babies from their Mommies!  They need them like I need my lil boy!  Please Please Please get them healthy and make them feel better, Thanks...Jenny

1 comment:

  1. (((Jenny))) I've been sad so much off and on for Conner's parents. I just can't imagine losing any of my son's. I can't imagine having to tell his brothers.

    I'm praying for Summer and Max and Aiden and Aidan and Matthew. It's just not fair that people who don't take care of themselves and live recklessly live long lives and children can come into this world completely innocent and have to go through so much.

    ReplyDelete