Taking care of my "medically difficult" baby sometimes takes a toll on my brain. The other day, I was driving down the road and became overwhelmed with emotion.
I was thinking about the day that Buddy would get his transplant. I was happy that my baby boy would feel better but I am also scared to death that somthing will happen to him and I will loose him. That moment was when I realized for the first time that when he gets his transplant that I will be in the waiting room all alone. My family will be there with me but I will feel all alone because the 2 people that I love the most will be in the OR. Kyle will not be there to distract me or for me to lean on . I realized that I will have to say goodbye to my soul mate and then give up my child to the nurses and doctors in the OR. I have never handed over Buddy to the OR people, Kyle has always done that for me because I just can't do it. I dont want him thinking that I am giving him away. I am so scared but so anxious at the same time...I guess that is normal..
I am so frustrated......Buddy throws up 10-15 times a day. I realize that this seems to be a normal thing for babies on dialysis but still, it bothers me. It wouldnt bother me so much if he would just throw up and be done with it....NO, he gaggs then dry heaves then throws up then cries because it hurts.....It is a 2 minute ordeal. If he throws up 15 times a day....that's 30 minutes a day that he is throwing up......how awful is that?????
Yesterday, we went to see Dr. Malagon.....She is SOOO happy with his progress. He weighed 6.53kg ( 14.5 lb) was 61.7cm long and his head was 41 cm around.
Labs were okay....some were up but we are changing formula to fix that....
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Am I paranoid or is it just TEETHING?
Well, I can tell you one thing......I AM PARANOID!
Brayden has been getting more and more fussy over the last week. On Friday, he had been so fussy the night before that I decided to take him to work with me to have somebody look at his ears. They were fine. He had been pulling at them the night before.....I just dont like it when he hurts....The fussy is not real bad hurt but it is a long hurt. He had a horrible day with Kyle on Saturday, fussed no stop all day and didnt sleep but a hour or so. He did, however, decide that he would eat all of his bottles by mouth. Kyle didnt have to use the G tube at all that day. Sunday morning when I went to work, Kyle called and said that he was fussy again.....so Kyle brought him in again.....again, NO ear infection. Everybody said maybe he is teething....I thought no way.....He is 5 months old but he really is only 3 months. Its not time for teeth yet! So, Sunday night, we tried oragel and by golly it WORKED! Amazing huh?
I feel like I am over paranoid but then again I dont feel that I can be paranoid enough... We have had so many complications that I am afraid we will end up with another one. I now know that when it comes to my son, sometimes my medical knowledge is NOT such a good thing....
Anyway, So Brayden had a great day Monday with Gran. She said he was a different baby than the week before. He started smilling again and laughed at me this morning. I almost cried when I heard that sweet laugh.
He is eating like a champ too! Saturday he ate 2 oz every 2 hr, Sunday it was 4oz ever 2 hour and yesterday he did about 3 every 2 hours. He is doing SO SO SO SO good! I just LOVE when he is eating and cooing at the same time.....I can tell he is enjoying it!
Lets just hope it lasts...........
Brayden has been getting more and more fussy over the last week. On Friday, he had been so fussy the night before that I decided to take him to work with me to have somebody look at his ears. They were fine. He had been pulling at them the night before.....I just dont like it when he hurts....The fussy is not real bad hurt but it is a long hurt. He had a horrible day with Kyle on Saturday, fussed no stop all day and didnt sleep but a hour or so. He did, however, decide that he would eat all of his bottles by mouth. Kyle didnt have to use the G tube at all that day. Sunday morning when I went to work, Kyle called and said that he was fussy again.....so Kyle brought him in again.....again, NO ear infection. Everybody said maybe he is teething....I thought no way.....He is 5 months old but he really is only 3 months. Its not time for teeth yet! So, Sunday night, we tried oragel and by golly it WORKED! Amazing huh?
I feel like I am over paranoid but then again I dont feel that I can be paranoid enough... We have had so many complications that I am afraid we will end up with another one. I now know that when it comes to my son, sometimes my medical knowledge is NOT such a good thing....
Anyway, So Brayden had a great day Monday with Gran. She said he was a different baby than the week before. He started smilling again and laughed at me this morning. I almost cried when I heard that sweet laugh.
He is eating like a champ too! Saturday he ate 2 oz every 2 hr, Sunday it was 4oz ever 2 hour and yesterday he did about 3 every 2 hours. He is doing SO SO SO SO good! I just LOVE when he is eating and cooing at the same time.....I can tell he is enjoying it!
Lets just hope it lasts...........
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