The pains of our lives

I have decided that I will do anything for my child. Its not really a decision but it is what will be done. Yesterday, I had my non functioning but non painful gallbladder taken out because it seems like that what was making my liver enzymes wacky. This had to be done so that the surgeons would consider me to donate my kidney to Buddy.

I would do it again but let me tell you....this sucks. The gas pains from the CO2 gas they blow your insides up with is killing me. My right shoulder and chest feel like there is a knife stuck in it and when I breath it just wiggles around in there. I have tried every folk remedy there is. Here is what I have tried

1. Eating a tablespoon of plain yellow mustard.....that worked for an hour or two the first time, after that it didnt help at all.



2. Laying on the floor on my back, puttin my arms above my head, raising my head up and burping.....that didnt help at all and made it worse.



3. Laying on the side that hurt....that just hurt..



4. Laying on the other side....that hurt



5. Sitting up straight and not moving....that helped my chest pain but made my back hurt



6. Baby mylicon drops....its the same as gas-x....that helped a lil.



7. Motrin



8. Tylenol



9. Drinking fizzy stuff and burping.....nope, didnt do nothing...



10. Percocet....finally I gave in and took 2 of them and laid down and took a nap.

You must understand that I am a baby about some things and a trooper about others. Surgery seems to be on my trooper list. When I had my C-section for Brayden, I took 1 percocet the day after I had him, just to go to sleep. I have taken more narcotics for this gas pain than I have ever taken in my life! This is way worse than my C-section.

I have also had to deal with my son's pain. This morning, I realized that I am the cause of this pain. For about 2 weeks, his vomiting got really really bad. Im not sure if it was a bug that lasted a long time or if it was just kidney puking but he lost a whole pound. He has since started gaining back and stopped vomiting so much. For the past 5 days, he has had diarrhea. His poor bottom went from just a lil red to bleeding diaper rash in 1 day. I realized this morning that I am the cause for the bad diaper rash.

Brayden takes an antibiotic every day to help prevent urinary tract infections. This can cause his gut to have an overgrowth of "good" bacteria. Brayden's diaper rash is a yeast rash because I put Nystatin ointment on it and it cleared up in 4 hours. The reason that he is getting the yeast rash is because I have not been giving his Culturelle to him. Its a probiotic that helps keep normal flora under control when taking chronic antibiotics. He has been off of it for about 2 weeks cause I can only get it at 1 store and the store is hard to get in and out of and I havent made the effort to go in. That will never happen again. Tomorrow, I will be going to get all that they have.

As of right now, we go to see Dr. Malagon on Thursday when I have yet another test to make sure I can donate. Hopefully, I can get some times for surgery etc. ironed out. Hopefully, the plan will be to do his nephrectomy surgery the first week of March and transplant mid-April.

We still dont know anything about Kyle's tests. I am giving them until this Friday before I call and ask again about the results. In my gut, I think he does have the gene. Maybe that is just my pessimistic self trying not to get my hopes up, Maybe its my mom/nurse instinct. I dont know, it will be what it will be. I just feel bad for Kyle, he isnt worried about his health so much, he is more worried that if he does have the gene, then he cant help our child. That is really hard on a parent.

This is something that I have struggled with today. Because I have had my gallbladder out yesterday and am feeling the pain. I am worried about transplant. I am worried that I am going to in so much pain that I wont be able to properly keep an eye on him. Its not that I dont trust the doctors, nurses and Kyle but I dont trust anybody but me to keep an eye on things. I have caught so many things that they have missed. I am going to just have to teach Kyle what to look for. Its the first few days that Brayden will be on the ventilator and things will be most crucial. This is the time that I need to be my best. I just hope and pray that I am stong enough to be a patient, nurse, mom and advocate for my child.

On a lighter note.

My mom and I were talking today and she said that I should write a book. Im not the best writer but she is. I think, eventually, that I will do that. If nothing else, I want to have a "How to have a kidney kid" book to give other parents that are going thru similar situations. I guess, what I plan on doing is gettin stories from all of my Internet friends to put in the book. Its a ways away but I think that its possible.

Okay, so.......Im done whining, done being self centered for the moment and done typing..Have a good day!